I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
