Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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