singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
