Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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