that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
