I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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