it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
