White coat. Heels.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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