remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
