made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Randomize
