i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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