You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
