plz talk dirty to me
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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