the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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