I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
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Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
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I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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