woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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