all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Randomize
