Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize