Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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