I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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