You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
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Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
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I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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