fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
