i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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