maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
