At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
