Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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