So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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