some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
