Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
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