cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
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mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
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I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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