she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
You may now shotgun with the bride
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
