You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
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If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
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You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
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