there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
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