Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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