The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
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