I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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