I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
