i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Hippo gnu deer
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
