I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
