So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
