I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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