Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
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