i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I cannot find my penis.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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