I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
