no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize