Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Success! We fucked roommates!
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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