Ambien. No doubt about it.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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