either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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