her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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