Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
and she was petting her beer can
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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