ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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