trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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