Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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