I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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