you should give me head with plastic fangs in
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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