cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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