As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
