I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
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