well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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