is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
