Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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