That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
