Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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